(Note: The first few entries in this blog are timestamped for April 19th. Some of that material was probably written on April 19th, but not all of it. I edited the time stamp so that all entries would appear in chronological order.)
On March 26, 2013, as I was in my bathroom getting ready for my day, I took a sip of coffee. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my reflection as I swallowed. There was a lump on my neck. Was that my voice box? I swallowed again, paying closer attention. The lump was below my voice box, and was slightly off-center. That doesn’t look right, I thought. Is that where my thyroid is?
Looking at myself straight on in the mirror, the lump was completely undetectable. I swallowed. There it was. I tried to feel the lump. It was hard to find with my fingers unless I tipped my head back or swallowed. When I did get my fingers on it, it felt smooth and firm.
I decided to be on the safe side and call my doctor. Dr. G, my primary, had an appointment open that afternoon, so I booked it. I called my husband at work to tell him what was going on, and he arranged to take the afternoon off to stay with the kids so that Eleanor, our two-and-a-half-year-old, could get her nap undisturbed.
A few minutes later, my friend MA came over with her children. It was spring break for Auburn schools, a good chance for our families to get together and play. (My family homeschools, so our schedule is flexible for playtime!) I was feeling slightly rattled, and while the kids played, I mentioned my discovery. We didn’t talk about it much, but it was good to confide in a friend. Later, another friend, L, brought her kids over to play. I was glad for the distraction.
That afternoon, I got to see Dr. G’s shiny new office. The practice has been growing fast, and they had just moved into a large and lovely new facility. There were still painters with ladders touching up spots in the waiting room.
Dr. G has a double specialty in pediatrics and internal medicine, so he is the primary doctor for my entire family, except for my husband. I really like this arrangement because, even though we are a pretty healthy family, we see Dr. G often enough that we have a friendly rapport.
When Dr. G came in, we chatted for a minute about his new office. He said that there were several kinks they were still trying to work out.
He asked me a few questions about symptoms of hyper- or hypo-thyroidism; I had none. He had me tip my head back so that he could look at the lump and see what it felt like. He watched my neck as I swallowed, and held a light up to the lump. I didn’t know it at the time, but thyroid lumps are extremely common, especially in women. This assessment is probably one that he does often.
After his examination, he told me that there was a wide range of things that the lump could be, including cancer. But he reassured me that even if it was thyroid cancer, it was one of the best kinds to have, and nothing to be overly worried about. He ordered blood work to test my thyroid levels and had his nurse schedule a thyroid ultrasound for me.
Back at home, I sent out a text to some of my close friends and family. Found a lump in my neck, on/near my thyroid, ultrasound scheduled Friday. Probably nothing, but would appreciate prayers.
I called my Dad. I had recently been up to visit him in Arlington when he was in the hospital recovering from a surgery to clean out an abscess on his spine. I felt he deserved to hear voice-to-voice. He’s not an overtly emotional person, but I could hear the worry in his voice. I promised to keep him updated.
That night my Uncle Ken (UK) called to condole with me. He’s my mother’s brother, and my “father in the faith.” He and my Aunt Sharon had always been dear to me, but have become even more important in my life since the death of my mother in 2010 of metastatic breast cancer. He had read my text to Aunt Sharon and my cousin Karen, who was there visiting. Karen had commented that she couldn’t believe I had one more thing to worry about, and told UK about Dad’s recent medical drama.
I should probably add here that we have already had several difficult family situations to deal with since the start of the year. Rusty’s paternal grandmother had passed away after multiple bouts of pneumonia over the winter. Then his brother Danny had been hospitalized for what they thought was quickly progressing MS, but turned out to be neurological problems caused by as severe B-12 deficiency. Then came my Dad’s scary illness. We were hoping life would cut us some slack for a little while.
I had, just a week or two before, discovered the fascinating world of essential oils. I called a friend, K, who was more experienced with them to see if she had any ideas for oils that might be helpful. We discussed possibilities, and I settled on what I would start with. She promised to bring me by some myrrh—which is supposed to support normal thyroid function—the next day. When she did come, she brought benedictions with her, in the form of a little booklet about God’s healing. I felt very loved—as I always have whenever anything difficult comes up in our lives. Rusty and I have truly amazing friends and family, and we are very thankful for them.
I want to make something very clear at this point. I have complete faith that my Lord can heal me–or anyone else–completely. I believe that He hears prayers. I also have experienced enough to know that God doesn’t always lead us down the easy path, and that He can use difficulties to refine us for his purposes. I try very hard to follow the command, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God,” and to embrace the promise that goes with it, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” However, as in everything, I often fall short and must constantly work on putting my trust in Him.